Legjobb baratnomrol

Legtobb baratomnak ha elmeselek egy elmenyt, elujsagolom oromom vagy elpanaszolom banatom valszul kapok egy hasonlo tortenetet, esetet. Alltalaban ettol nem leszek okosabb semmivel. Olyan kevesen vannak, akik meghallgatjak nem csak a szavakat, hanem a mondatok ertelmet is es kepesek velemenyt alkotni. Csak egy embert ismerek aki megtartja maganak a velemenyet, nem mondja el, csak ha kerdezem. Van ugy, hogy beszelni akarok, kionteni mindent, ami felgyult es nem varok semmilyen valaszt. Olyan kellemes ha meghallgatnak es nem szakitanak meg okosabbnal okosabb megjegyzesekkel.



Somebody asked me yesterday:
- What will you write into your diary tomorrow?
The answer was to simple to set it out into words:
- I don't want to die wondering about how it would have been!


Where are those men?

Yes, I'm thinking about something like the old time's ones, with sword and spine. I don't really expect one to kill for me, but one to fight for me, even with me if needed. Lately I've met masterpieces of milkshake: sweet and with the shape of the bottle keeping them. As somebody release them, they began to loose their form and cry for their bottle-cage. If I have a man at my side, I expect to feel protected and guided a little, free of the gravity of always decide alone. Hey, it's my role been' afraid of words, getting ashamed and so on. It's really just brute force or shapeless mind what's left? Without any "and" instead of "or"?
There are legend about West, which say, that some kind of matriarchy has been born there. I begin to believe them. I think I smell that western fragrance and I don't like it at all.


Valamiert a feher csikra kell gondolnom a 4savos ut kozepen. Parhuzamos felekre osztja az utat. Egyenes, nem szaggatott ... valamiert megis le tudom merni rajta a sebesseget amivel haladok, neha ugy tunik egy orokkevalosag ota, maskor ugy tunik celtalan.


Thank's to someone nice, who took me out today

My limbs went lip for a second, I felt as my stomach begin to rise. It was the pure "love at first sight" even if I couldn't see it yet. I had to stop and gather my forces to stay on my feet and have some air. My heart was pumping to much blood into the veins. You have to think it was a person coming, don't you? But it was just a noise for first. I hadn't the power to turn around. It was coming from somewhere behind me. Then it began to rise louder and louder, until it was a drum inside my ears. Finally I could see it. Just for a while until it disappeared. Perfect red, maybe I expected to be red but I didn't have the time to realize that I had a color for it in my mind. It was like the voice getting a streamlined form into a gorgeous red. My mind went blank for a little, I could hear just the drums mingled with the sound of rushing liquid, as my blood was running into my head.
Everything became so empty when the motorcycle disappeared. Just the memory of some kind of orgasm linked me still to the moment.


I can touch myself. I can feel this body from the inside. Trapped between the thick walls, not enough free space to stretch my limbs. Feelin' like in a modern Alcatraz in the middle of a swamp. The smell gets heavier with every day passed, the walls are coming closer and closer. My only remedy, the full moon is hanging somewhere between me and the infinity. I'd like to touch it, maybe the cold clasp would help. In vain any struggle, I'll never know. It's not torture, just life.


"moon hangs round
a blade over my head
reminds me
what to do before I'm dead
night consumes light
and all I dread
reminds me what to do before I'm dead "

Queen Of The Damned - Before I'm Dead - Kidney Thieves

It's the only song in my play list which is set on repeat mode ...



"I love him!" It sounds so pitiful to write down sentences like that. One is always expecting words like trembling, eyes wide open, fast heart beating ... and so on. It's no question, I've always haunted feelings like that. Maybe this is, why I like Lestat's therms: "I'm weeping!" But did one see two people smiling to each other, slower heartbeat on account of the peace felt? In those moments it doesn't seem so pitiful to me that simple "I love him!"


Would you?

Would you fight your life for this love?
Would you fight your love for this life?



I'll make one more try to be a blogger. Been' a blogger ... I think this means I feel I have to share something, maybe to give an example and search for answers in comments. In most blogs I've found an example how to live or how others try to live. I can't be such a mirror. The only thing I can give maybe is an idea how I did, with a notification attached, I FIND IT WRONG! Every blogger gives a little bit of itself for share, I'll try to do the same, but don't ask me why. I just feel I have to, without a reason. I don't have a picture yet, how this blog will look like, but one thing is certain, there is no language I can speak very well, so it will be a mixed up thing in this point. This was my first concern, witch language to choose, it's really hard for one not speaking even its mother tongue. I think this is my first example in the same time.